10 Things I Learned About Having a Long Distance Relationship With My Husband

Bohemian engagement shoot - 10 Things I Learned From Living Apart Together From My Husband by popular Chicago blogger Visions of Vogue

Yesterday was the first day of Matt’s new job! For those of you that haven’t heard me mention him a million times, Matt is my husband. He’s also the man behind the camera when it comes to all things Visions of Vogue. When I announced our move to Chicago, I didn’t share many details. It wasn’t intentional. I just didn’t know them! I had gotten a new job in a whirlwind of events and Matt was still wrapping up his in Los Angeles! Neither of us had a clue when we’d be living together again. The only thing we could agree on was that we wanted to both be in Chicago ASAP!

Fast forward to now and we finally made it work! Matt was offered an amazing job right in Chicago’s West Loop. Of all the potential opportunities along the way, we couldn’t have dreamt up a better fit. While those 3 months living apart together seemed like an eternity at times, I’ve (mostly) forgotten how miserable they could be too. It’s how I imagine a mother remembers childbirth – something I’m in no hurry to experience myself.

However, I’ve remembered just enough to make this list of 10 things I learned from living apart together and our brief long distance relationship. Enjoy a few laughs and a little peek into our personal life!

  1. FaceTime isn’t Snapchat. No matter what angle you hold the phone at, it’s impossible to look remotely attractive. Where is that botox filter when you need it? Heck, I’d even take the dog filter. I expected better from you, Apple. Matt and I made sure to FaceTime every night and by the end of the 3 months, I had completely given up on trying to impress him. The only time I looked somewhat decent was after using my favorite face mask. It’s basically like the botox filter but IRL.
  2. Binge watching Netflix is different. Things are a little less fun when there’s no one to guess who Juliette Barnes will sleep with next (I discovered the greatness of Nashville). That said, I never once felt guilty for finishing an entire season of a show in one weekend. What can I say? When I do things, I am all in. And while I got all the throw blankets to myself, snuggling was definitely something I missed!
  3. It’s really easy to revert back to college style dinners. Wheat Thins and cheese for dinner? No problem. Also, no judgement. Somewhat related, I noticed that men eat a ton. My groceries were 1/4th of the cost. That might also have to do with the lack of a well balanced meal but I still blame Matt for how much we can spend in one trip to Trader Joes. Sometimes I think we have to be setting some kind of world record. It’s unfair how much food men are able to consume without any of the weight gain.
  4. Trash is heavy. So are packages, bed frames, and desks. But I got a great upper body workout moving these things around our apartment. It also made me appreciate how much Matt lifts for me. After not having to do much of it (he likes to assert his manhood by not letting me), my biceps are now pretty intimidating. Added bonus!
  5. My productivity sky rocketed. I had zero distractions (that I didn’t make for myself) when I got home from work! I got so much done for the blog and there was no man giving me puppy dog eyes and begging for attention. Being pestered is endearing but it’s amazing how much you can accomplish when you’re not interrupted. As I write this Matt’s feet are nudging me. It’s his way of letting me know he’s here. But, how could I forget?
  6. The joy of small freedoms is oh so real. Matt can appreciate this one as well. He told me the thing he misses most was not having to put the toilet seat down. I miss not having to pick my clothes up. I’m the queen of using our bedroom chair as a makeshift closet (and every other surface of our place for that matter).
  7. Communication is key (could I have picked a more obvious one?). Living 2,000 miles apart makes it really easy to misinterpret texts, comments, or anything else. Communicating is good but over communicating is even better. I never cared more about what Matt ate for lunch or exactly how bad the LA traffic was every day. It can also be a matter of life and death. If I went 15 minutes without responding to a text from Matt he started worrying I had been abducted. How adorable is that?
  8. Having everything your way is overrated. What’s the fun in having things exactly where you left them? Life is much more exciting when your spouse unintentionally sends you on a treasure hunt for your keys. I’m sure I’ll regret saying this next time my personal belongings go missing.
  9. Men are messy. While my husband claims he is clean for a boy, there are certainly a few things I didn’t miss during our long distance sprint. Random hairs all over the bathroom sink, basketballs on the kitchen counter, batman statues left in very inappropriate places in the house… I can’t say that I missed any of those things. However, with all the good comes a little bit of bad. And that “bad” has a way of growing on you in its absence. They always say absence makes the heart grow fonder!
  10. Being lonely is scary. My approach to this test in our relationship was to not give it much thought. There were so many changes in my life in addition to adjusting to a new job that I planned on being 100% distracted. For the most part, it worked. There were definitely nights were I felt lonely though. Without bae around, it wasn’t always as easy to go out or do something. Thankfully, I had been overwhelmed with people texting me phone numbers of their friends before I moved, suggesting we meet up. For that, I am so grateful. It was such a blessing although I often felt like I was going on mini blind dates with girls!

Now that we have been reunited, my heart couldn’t be more full. I’m so excited to experience our new home with Matt and can’t wait for this next chapter in our lives. Stay tuned for what this means in terms of content for Visions of Vogue!

What did you think? Do you have any tips for living apart together? Or even regular relationship tips?

30 thoughts on “10 Things I Learned About Having a Long Distance Relationship With My Husband

  1. Such a great post! My hubby used to travel quite a bit for work and we hardly saw each other. I am glad I am not alone in my feelings!

  2. Love this post so much! I saw your post on FB last night and am so happy he is there with you now! A little separation is nice but I am sure this was so hard! When Shane goes out of town like once a year, I get so much accomplished because I just work and clean nonstop lol!

    1. I feel you on getting things accomplished! It was so nice but it’s weird to live alone again (slash every in my case)! That was my first time coming home to no one – I had always had roommates!

  3. the real stuff… these are the types of posts i truly enjoy. my hubby and i both travel quite a bit for work and it’s fun, BUT there is nothing like coming home to my guy and our little ones. so glad you guys are back together and living it up in the windy city together!!

    1. Thank you so much for that feedback Natasha! I’m definitely trying to do more “real” stuff in 2017. I feel like I’m just an average person who is crazy enough to put everything on the internet!

  4. Girl #3. I live with my boyfriend, and he thinks I’m crazy when I pull out a glass of wine and the box of cheese its for my dinner. Oops.

  5. LOVE this post! My boyfriend of 3 years and I were forced to live apart for 9 months due to jobs as well, and it was so hard! I really enjoyed reading this post, I related to so many of these!

    1. Thank you so much Mollie!! 9 months is crazy! Isn’t it so frustrating? But you gotta do what pays the bills!!

  6. My husband and I did long distance while dating on and off for almost 3 years! I can so relate to this post and it definitely reminded me of the times we spent apart! I really enjoyed reading this!

    xo Ashley

    1. Thank you so much for that comment Ashley!! It meant so much! So glad you guys are reunited too :)

  7. This is SUCH a great post, I seriously love it! I can’t imagine living apart from my husband but he travels a lot and I hate those few days, can’t imagine a period of time…but I did love #6 ;) although I wouldn’t experience that since we have kids now lol! xx

  8. Thanks for sharing this babe! My boyfriend and I have been doing long distance for 2 years! I’m in Santa Barbara and he’s in Scottsdald! It’s hard, but will be SO worth it in the long run :)


    1. OMG are you guys planning to move closer at any point?! That is incredible!! I admire you for that – that is way more tough than we had it!!

  9. Loved this post! My hubs is offshore a ton for work, so I could totally relate! Glad yall are reunited :)

  10. SO happy for y’all that you’re reunited again…that must’ve been so stressful! And amen to eliminating distractions and going to college-style dining tho…anytime my hubs works late, I find myself doing/thinking the exact same!

    Coming Up Roses

  11. This is just what I’m going through! I was offered a job in Chicago, so I moved here two weeks ago. My husband is still in Austin finishing up things with his job before he moves here. Being in a new city without him is becoming one of the hardest things.

    1. Thinking of you girl!! It’s so tough but I promise you get used to it. I picked up a LOT of hobbies (mostly blogging related) and binge watched a ton of Nashville! If you ever need to talk or need a friend in the city, feel free to reach out!

Let me know what you think!