There’s a point in everyone’s relationship where they feel like they need relationship advice. Whether you’ve been together for decades, you just started dating, or you’re on the brink of a relationship, you might find yourself looking for a few ideas. I got asked on Instagram how I keep things fresh with Matt. Great question. I had to really think about it and here’s what I came up with.
Relationships are hard work. Even the best relationship takes work. There isn’t a magic formula to fix every one. And the comparison game is one you should avoid at all costs. I’m a firm believer that if both parties want to make things work, you’ll always find a way. However, both parties have to be in on it. It takes two.
So what relationship advice do I have for you?
7 RELATIONSHIP ADVICE TO KEEP THINGS FRESH
This is a version of “be yourself”. Of course, I’m a firm believer in being yourself. I didn’t sugar coat my sarcasm or sass for any part of our relationship. Matt met the real me in that Las Vegas nightclub and I’m convinced it’s part of the reason he’s stuck around. He knew exactly what he was getting into and he liked it. I’m getting sidetracked.
I feel like being playful is one of my favorite parts of our relationship. When you’re playing, you’re being the most raw version of your happy self. Sharing that with someone is priceless. Matt will often try wrestling moves on me which involve carrying me around the apartment, contorting me in various shapes, and then powerbombing me on the bed. We often start tickle fights – but then quickly agree to a truce because neither of us, especially Matt, enjoy being tickled. We have funny nicknames for each other, make weird sounds, whatever. Just really let ourselves be ourselves.
Experiencing new things together is one of the best ways to grow together. I’m more cognizant of this than Matt is so I’m constantly trying to get us to try new things (a cooking class is my latest idea) or travel to new places. Putting yourself in new or slightly uncomfortable situations forces you to rely on each other and built trust. Creating those memories together is the best way to ensure that you will develop together. It also gives you something to reflect on, saying “remember when…” Recalling those memories, reassures that bond. I distinctly recall the one time Matt and I were driving in the middle of nowhere in Spain about to run out of gas. It was quite a scene. Him having to rely on me to speak broken Spanish to ask for a gas station and me having to rely on him to assure me it would be okay is still to this day a vivid memory. It wasn’t all peachy keen in that moment but we laugh about it now.
3. Ask questions.
If your partner is really interested in something, be a part of it as much as you can. Ask meaningful questions, show interest, show that you care about the other in doing so. Even to this day I’ll ask Matt “get to know you” questions every now and then. We got most of them out of the way when we started dating but I love knowing the random little facts about him. Sometimes they’re along the lines of a “would you rather”, deeper questions about what he wants to achieve in life, or just something I see that reminds me to ask him. I’ll also ask him questions about baseball, Fortnite (the video game), or whatever meme he found the funniest that day. Showing your interest is validating.
Go on date nights. This is one of the hardest things for us to do. We usually end up going out with friends but lately, I’ve been making reservations once a month or so to block off time for us. One on one time. We try as much as possible to put our phones down or leave them at home. It forces us to talk about more topics than how our days were or what we saw on social media that day. We also typically try new restaurants so that checks the box of trying something new together too. As you guys know, one of Matt’s love languages is quality time so this is important!
5. Surprise each other.
It doesn’t have to be a big grand gesture but it can be something small. Matt is really good at this. He’ll hear me say I need something or listen to something that’s not working out for me and then magically I’ll have something off Amazon that fixes my problem. They’re things I don’t even know exist! Like a USB port for my computer or a mousepad. They’re usually tech items come to think of it but they’re so good! I usually surprise him with dinner or a spontaneous activity. Admittedly, I need to get better at this one!
6. Verbally affirm the other.
Words of affirmation are another love language that you or your significant other may have. I’ve gotten really good at this one over the years. If Matt does something that makes me incredibly happy (even if it’s a really small thing), I’ll let him know. I also will randomly text him every now and then during the day to tell him how much I love him or that I’m thinking about him. You should know what your significant other wants to hear. If you don’t, try things out. Test different topics. See what they react to. You’ve got nothing to lose by affirming the other!
7. Say hi and bye.
Showing excitement when you greet each other sets the mood for that section of time you spend together. Get excited! Show happiness! Get pumped to spend the next block of time together. Another thing I always insist upon is to always say goodbye with a kiss. I think I read somewhere that men are happier when they kiss their wives goodbye so I make sure this happens every morning. If you don’t say goodbye, that lack of closure may hang over your head all day.
Do you have any relationship advice for how to keep things fresh? Is there anything that has really worked for you? Please share!