Y’all asked for more! If you missed our first post on annoying things about living with your significant other, this is the sequel. Living with your boo certainly isn’t easy. Men and women are different creatures. Heck, living with anyone can be challenging. Here are a few more things Matt and I seem to think differently about…
Her: I will never understand why Matt felt like a 2 foot tall statue of Batman was necessary for our home. Not only that, but why did he feel like putting it on the window sill in the bathroom was the appropriate resting place (right next to Batman potato head who was much smaller in size)? I freaked out the first time I saw that. Creepy. I also spend 5 minutes a day putting all the pillows in our apartment back in their places. After he inhabits the couch for an evening, it looks like a bomb went off in our living room. Pillows are thrown everywhere, turned upside down, and couch cushions are askew. Am I Cinderella?
Him: What is the obsession with pillows? How many pillows can someone reasonably use at once? I myself have a two pillow max for all my comfort sessions. 99% of the time the pillows in our apartment are on the floor, because I’ve cleared them off whatever surface they were previously occupying. They now just provide clutter and blocking my path in case of a fire. My collection of Batman memorabilia on the other hand has no downside. It’s not obstructing any movement. It serves many purposes, such as being aesthetically pleasing and watching over the citizens of our residence like a silent protector, a watchful protector, a dark knight.
Her: I remember the day Matt and I made our first trip to Trader Joe’s. Our bill quadrupled. This man can eat. Not only that but he brings things into the home that I never would (because I have zero self control). His latest obsession? Brookies. They’re exactly what you think. A brownie and cookie all in one from the bakery at Jewel. My summer bod is not happening thanks to that.
Him: Going to the market is such a mindless activity. Hopefully grocery stores are extinct along with shopping malls and college in 10 years. Why do something in person that takes twice as long as doing online? I used to do this activity stag, after all that’s part of the Husband of the Year criteria. However, Jenna soon realized that the only produce I would bring home would be bananas and that I would buy far more tortilla chips and cereal than was necessary. Was this an oversight on my part or simply strategic to get her to do the shopping? I’ll let you be the judge.
Going to sleep together and getting up together.
Her: I read an article somewhere about how couples that do this are happier. So, you better believe I instituted this rule in our home. What girl wouldn’t? And doesn’t everything always start with something you read somewhere? Cosmo is practically the Bible. Let’s be honest, we all know who rules the roost in our household: me.
Him: In the early onset of relationships, guys tend to do and say everything they can to make their woman happy. I’m not admitting that this changes over time, but I’m not denying it either. Anyways, point being is this is one of the topics where my lack of backbone really cost me. We kind of made the agreement that we would always go to bed together. Like a cell phone plan that you’ve been grandfathered into, there’s no going back now. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to go to bed in the bottom of the 9th inning, or when me and the squad are in the midst of a winning streak on Xbox. As you probably learned in the previous post, it doesn’t take me long to fall asleep. So maybe we should use this opportunity to reevaluate things. Like when we play each other in any athletic activity, I’ll give you a head start. I propose you going to bed about 45-90 minutes before me. It’ll solve two issues: I can enjoy my evening and we can actually fall asleep together.
Her: I throw away everything. I mean everything. From clothing, to household items, to paper, nothing is safe from my wrath. Matt is a collector of everything – especially cups. Really ugly cups. There is nothing more annoying than having a cupboard full of 10 different kinds of cups. I feel like this is something straight off Discovery channel. Also, I freaking love my Anthropologie plates no matter how difficult it is to convince Matt to use them. Worth every penny.
Him: Bringing home a pint glass with my favorite brewery on it seems like it would be worse than bringing home another woman. You’d think there’s nothing wrong with a little variety in the cabinet, but think again. I can’t have a cup with my favorite comic book characters on it but she can have $300 plates that we use once every Olympics. Seems like a bit of a double standard.
Her: Before Matt joined me in Chicago, I had one remote for the TV. Matt moved and brought a Soundbar in. And an Xbox. Now we have 4 remotes. There is nothing that drives me crazier than having to pick up 4 different objects just to watch an episode of Fixer Upper.
Him: It’s 2017, if you can’t embrace technology I put you in the same category as my uncle that doesn’t believe in text messaging. I want the latest and greatest stuff. That includes the best quality internet, the best quality television, the best quality sound, and as few wires as possible. If that requires having to occasionally change the input and using 4 different remote controls, so be it. Maybe one day Alexa will be able to change the channel for us, but until that day these are the sacrifices to be made.
Getting ready for bed first.
Her: My nighttime skincare routine has lengthened a little over the years. So, I requested to be able to get ready first. Otherwise, he’d be fast asleep by the time the 2 minute timer on my toothbrush was up (see above). Now that we amped up Matt’s routine with a few things from Sephora, his routine is longer too. I think the only solution at this point is double vanities.
Him: As you’ve learned from her previous post, Jenna has quite the nightly routine. So when she gives the command “it’s time for bed,” the going to bed part usually doesn’t take place for another hour or so. Ok, that was a bit of an exaggeration, but it can certainly feel like that sometimes. We unfortunately don’t posses a double vanity, therefore it’s a one in one out policy in the bathroom. I for one believe it would be much more efficient if I got ready for bed first, but I’d probably be deep into REM sleep before her toothbrush got wet.
Her: What is it about a man that drives him to sit in the exact same spot night after night? Our couch is huge. Yet it’s the same spot, awkwardly between two cushions that gets the most use. It’s like he’s trying to mark his territory with the imprint of his butt in the fabric. Do you know how difficult it is to photograph a butt print?
Him: I really do love our living room. The couch is super comfy, and while I don’t understand why pillows are necessary, let along 13 of them, it’s where I spend a majority of my time. But I’m six foot three inches, one hundred and ninety pounds, so when my body finally arises up after binge watching Netflix there may be some residual damage. This apparently is unsightly, but I’m just like a dog marking my territory and peeing on a tree. I’m just going to find myself in that position the next day, and the next day, and the next. It’s my best attempt at turning the couch fabric into memory foam to contort exactly to my dimensions. Meanwhile it sends a clear message to any visitors to not trespass into my jurisdiction of the couch.
Does any of this sound familiar to you? Do you and your significant other hopelessly disagree on something?